By: Amber Amour
“You could have grown cold, but you grew courageous instead. You could have given up, but you kept on going. You could have seen obstacles, but you called them adventures. You could have called them weeds, but instead you called them wildflower. You could have died a caterpillar, but you fought on to be a butterfly. You could have denied yourself goodness, but instead you chose to show yourself some self-love. You could have defined yourself by the dark days, but instead through them you realized your light.” -S.C Lourie
Although pills and talk therapy work for millions, it was never effective for me. The pills changed my personality and made me numb.
Talk therapy was never my cup of tea. It helped me work through my emotions, but I needed something more profound.
That’s why I turned to natural, alternative therapies to heal myself from sexual assault. This worked out better than I imagined.
The minute I decided to take my healing into my own hands, my life changed forever. Healing from sexual assault took me on a spiritual path. It all began with a book: ‘Yoga for Dummies”.
I was new to the whole world of yoga and it fascinated me that I could relax my mind and body with ancient poses designed to raise one’s vibration.
As a college student, I was unable to afford Western medicine to heal from rape. Yoga was free and accessible to me at any time; all I needed was myself!
I began to wake up early to do yoga every day. I watched videos on YouTube and learned as many poses as I could. I went on to class and work feeling more centered. It was only up from there!
Yoga helped me reclaim my body. Yoga helped me to ground myself. Yoga helped me to release stagnant energy. Yoga helped me connect with myself.
Yoga helped me feel all around lighter. From discovering yoga, I learned about meditation, reiki, how to release energetic ties to abusers, and dozens of other healing modalities.
I went outside the box of how a rape survivor is “supposed to heal”. I listened to my heart and it led me in the right direction.
As my spiritual journey deepened, I committed myself to recovering from sexual trauma by researching holistic healing even more. This led me to learn about shamanism and the ways of my African and Indigenous Ancestors.
Soul retrievals are a shamanic healing method used to heal trauma. When someone is going through trauma, a fragment of the soul detaches. This is what is described as an “out-of-body” experience.
I had many out-of-body experiences due to sexual violence. Soul retrievals repair the fragmented soul and they are most commonly performed by shamans.
With a fragmented soul, I was disconnected from my true self. I stopped doing the things I enjoyed, like singing--I even stopped having dreams at night.
I went to a healer who did a soul retrieval on me, but while I was there, I knew I needed more than one session. I researched how to do them and began to perform soul retrievals on myself with the help of my Spirit Guides.
After performing dozens of soul retrievals on myself, I felt like I was in my body for the first time. I was no longer operating in a dissociative state of fear, I was finally “me”, again.
Soul retrievals helped me connect with my inner child, sing, and even have dreams, once more. It was a medicine I never knew I needed.
The next major healing tool that helped me recover from sexual abuse is reiki. All of the chakras are affected by sexual assault. Let’s take a closer look:
Root chakra- survivors of sexual assault often feel unsafe and this gets worsened with PTSD. A healed root chakra means feeling grounded and secure in the world, your home, your career finances, and your environment.
Sacral chakra- it is completely normal for survivors of sexual assault to experience difficulty in their sex lives after experiencing rape. A healthy sacral chakra means that you are comfortable with your sexuality and that your emotions are expressed in a healthy and balanced way.
Solar plexus chakra- feelings of powerlessness are common for survivors of sexual assault. A healthy solar plexus means you feel empowered, free, and creative.
Heart chakra- being overly caring to a fault (a lack of boundaries) or being cold and unloving are just a few ways that the heart chakra is affected by sexual assault. A healthy heart chakra means that you feel safe and worthy to both give and receive love.
Throat chakra- feeling incapable of voicing your opinions or boundaries is the most common way the throat chakra is affected by sexual assault. A healthy throat chakra means that you feel comfortable expressing yourself and your boundaries, in any given situation.
Third eye chakra- Imbalances with this chakra include distrust, ignoring your intuition, difficulties with meditation or visualization, the inability to dream at night, and suffering from nightmares. A healthy third eye means that you trust your instincts and act on them, too.
Crown chakra- Feeling disconnected from Source energy and your Divine power is normal for those who have been broken down by abuse. A healthy crown chakra means you are aware of your Oneness with the Universe and the ability to manifest the life of your dreams.
I traveled the world on a shoestring budget to heal from sexual assault. I went to the Amazon forest to do ayahuasca with a shaman and to Atlanta and New Orleans to see priestesses, who were expert healers.
At the end of the day, the most important lesson I can leave you with is that you, and only you, are the key to your healing.
All you need is yourself to heal. Take baby steps and work your way up to more intense healing modalities.
You don’t need a yoga mat or studio when you can make use of your bedroom, living room, or backyard. You don’t need all the finest athletic gear to get started.
The worst experiences in my life led me to the best ones. Now, I teach holistic healing to survivors of sexual assault worldwide to inspire them to break free from the pain and live their best lives.
The following list contains forty-four ways to heal the mind, body, and soul after sexual violence. I have used all of these methods personally, but must advise-- it’s always best to follow your heart and gut instinct when it comes to your healing path.
44 Ways to Balance the Mind, Body, and Spirit After Rape or Sexual Assault:
Learning about consent
Hiking in nature
Researching inspirational survival stories
Writing a blog or a book-it’s up to you!
Plant medicine ceremonies
Emotional cord cutting
Visualizing healing, success, and your best life
Connecting with your Higher Self
Communing with nature
Helping fellow survivors
Decalcifying your pineal gland
Learning more about holistic healing
Balancing your chakras
Past life regressions
Fostering healthy relationships
Releasing the past
These are listed in no particular order. Pick a few that call your name and start to incorporate these healthy and empowering practices in your life.
Healing takes time. Be easy with yourself. Remember, you are not alone as a survivor of sexual assault.
There are millions of people who can identify with your journey. We believe you. We support you. We love you.
Infinite Blessings to you on your healing path, from one survivor to another.
Amber Amour is a Holistic Healer, Spiritual Coach, Certified Kemetic Reiki Practitioner, CEO of Ancestral Essentials, and the author of the Consentopia ebook series.
Amber specializes in educating and healing sexual assault survivors from all walks of life: LGBTQIA+, adult entertainers, and marginalized communities.
Her Consentopia ebook series explains everything you need to know about consent and how to heal after sexual assault. Be sure to connect with her to learn more about healing and consent!
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